Date:
Sunday 14th Febuary 2010
Khaing
Khong GuestHouse, RimKhong Road, Nong Khai, Thailand. Lt: 11:59pm.
Chinese New Year
Valentines Day
Note: I was still too busy to write, doing two courses at uni really was full time. So again, only dreams and chronological photos follow, though I think you can get the gist of what I was up to. I attempted to keep a meditation diary/magick diary, as noted by the single entry below, but there wasn't even time to keep that up.
Just saying hello. I really wanted to make it in time to post today. You don't get these two holidays on the same day often... is that once in a lifetime? Anyway, so much has happened, within me I mean, there isn't time to write it up now. But I shall just state breifly that I'm
restarting magical diary, I don't know for how long. I'll explain it later and my new practice. I'm really busy studywise and can't write it up just now.
Magical
Diary 14022010 VP very distracted. During CP I felt a lot of pressure
on my head and realised that I was trying to physically open from my
centre of awareness. There was a period of intense tiredness
afterwards. I also performed a ritual to deal with my ear and
obsession and formally request enlightenment during this lunar year.
Dream - 17th March 2010
I was waiting for a long-term room to become available and ended up paying for a month in the hotel I was already staying at.
Interpretation
I was looking for somewhere at the time and ended up asking my hotel, but they were too much, and so I didn't bother.
Dream - 20th March 2010
I was in a house with my mother. She had decided I was to be commited to the lunatic asylum at midday. Some people came ready and hung around. I was kind of accepting, but then I got sad because they were early and they were going to take me at eleven and not twelve and I cried and begged for the extra hour but they wouldn't give me it.
I went next door and there was a party and I sat alone and took pictures of people dancing. I went for a walk outside, and keppt walking, and the walk kind of turned into running away. I went down the side of someone's house and sat round the back and a huge dog came. I was soon joined by its friends. I couldn't judge if they were friendly or not, but I stroken them and they seemed OK but they didn't seem warm and I was still scared.
I think it went day to night and back again. Suddenly the owners arrived back and came out and saw me and I thought I would be in trouble, but they seemed friendly enough.
Then I was in the fruit section of a supermarket. I'd moved on from the previous scene and was no longer on the run. I looked to the people selling the food and noticed A. was one of them but she was wearing a cabbage mask.
There was an information scren close to where I was sitting. It was showing information about homelessness in the area. It showed how the police interview rooms were being underused and could have homeless people in them.
I went into a Macdonalds and noticed that there was a Westener working there. I realised that I would likely enter Thailand on a non-o visa next (long term) and wondered if perhaps I could do the same.
Interpretation
I think the first part is the 'issues' I had when I lived with M.
The rest is harder. Leaving early means I got away from M. before my childhood was over. I spent my life running from my problems and ended up with no where to live, which is why it goes on to the issue of homelessness now. The dogs part is as I'm running, i.e. away from my problems, but my Avpd means I can't really get on with people and never made friends.
13th April 2010
I was in an Asian pub. It was quite busy and in English style. I lay down on the floor, then realised that it (the experience of lying there) was just like being in England.
Some guy asked his friingd for help uptting a ?camera? up his anus.
I was with someone and I noticed we were passing a magic room but she didn't see and I stopped and walked in and relaised that when I walked in the room I was invisible. I called my friend back so I could show her the phenonoma.
I was in perth and passed a riverboat that connected to the airport and I realised that I much have used that once. A policewoman was playing a rocording from someone about a missing child. She pointed out someone's fake stutter and they (?) were really upset.
Interpretation
I don't know.
Dream - 27 April 2010
I was in a room and there was a bottle of milk missing from my bag. I realised it had come open and gone all over the floor and then been licked up by a dog. There were some young travellers sitting nearby and I told them and tried to see the funny side and forced myself to laugh artificially - but then I actually did see the funny side, and walked off really laughing.
Interpretation
This is a dream about my concern at the time for my health worries, i.e. having been a previous heavy drinker, I was worried, and basically this is a dream about laughing over spilt milk; I can't not have drunk it.
I, incidentally, went for a test and they told me it was all OK.
Dream - 29th April 2010
I was at M's house in Burrows court and I found a Nancy Drew mystery book in the fridge.
I was at Mutmee - or at least with the people from Mutmee, but I was making jokes with them and was really liked and popular.
Then I was at A's house. Letters arrived. I think three. She started reading them. The first I can't remember, but the second was from Mian. The third was from Junko, but I don't recall the start. A. started reading it but I went downstairs and took it from her. A. had read out that she lived between -------, but I read it as, 'I love Melbourne, London, ... and another place I don't recall. On the back were pamphlets from travel agents.
Interpretation
It's no mystery why I'm cold with people, and can't act friendly and be popular with good people, i.e. being left alone at M's house sent me mad.
Not sure about the last bit.It's good to avoid wishful thinking. Perhaps she loved three people, the other one, me, and whoever she's with now? The pamphlets could mean different things. I wishfully think it means I should go and find her! I think it realistically means that, due to what happened with her and the fact I don't get on with anyone, I'm always going to be an unsettled person moving around.
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