Dream
22nd January 2008 -- Chiang Rai North Thailand
I was trying to feed a rat in a sink. It wasn't mine. I was kind of busy in the sink doing stuff with chemicals. Somehow, the rat was accidentally drowned in one of the chemicals.
I received an Asus eee pc and was generally dissatisfied with the keyboard.
Interpretation
I think perhaps the rat could mean thoughts/emotions which enter consciousness and don't have any place to stay now because of my spiritual practice. Perhaps they're things I've never looked at as a problem before (yes, you know what I'm talking about.
The second part could be literal
Date: 22nd January 2008 -- Chiang Saen, North Thailand
6:55pm
Didn't think I'd get a chance to update, but here I am, before leaving.
I left the hotel and went to the Internet for an hour and updated things. I usually carry an exercise book around with me, with notes about all the projects, to do list, record of I ching questions etc. and I type it all into Google when it's full. So I did that this morning, including the dream above (actually dreamt that this morning, how's that for up to date).
I went to the mail account and sara at www.forest-cafe.org had emailed to say my hotel choice was full, and offered another, which I wrote back and declined. Then I went to DaVinchi for a soup. Read some pulp fiction I've brought with me, and then got on the bus.
I listened to Buddhist Geeks as I came up, quite interesting, and then walked to Gins. I got there with half an hour to spare. She didn't know why I was there and had expected me on the eighteenth, so I showed her the receipt and it was her mistake, so she went off to get the ticket. She said there's another 100B immigration charge and apologised for not telling me. There are two other women going, and she showed me their tickets, it is 800Y from China, which is a tad more than I paid in Baht, but there's free transport tomorrow. I looked at the pictures. There aren't seat numbers but it looked bearable. It'll be easier if two others are going, though I don't know if they look like my kind of people. Then again, what are my kind of people?
I got a different room. It's not a hut but a proper room. I sat outside and they showed an Australian woman around next door, who completely ignored me, but then a German couple and they were OK, said hello. I don't mind lone females pretending you don't exist, as I guess they have to be careful with someone next door, especially as weird looking as me.
Then I came down and there was another email from Sara, saying the room was attached and by a park, so I just phoned her to say I'll have it, then texted her too. It was voip, and we only just understood each other, but I texted via Skype also, so perhaps that will work out. I should have something kind of organised now. All I have to do is work out how to get there!
I just checked my email, Sara just replied, she's expecting me, so I have somewhere to go. Plus, I'm about to print out the address in Chinese.
Man, I LOVE being organised!
Anyway, I'm off to 7-11 for snacks for the trip, then I'll try the only restaurant I know of with an English menu, home to pay for the room, immigration charge, bottle of water and pick up my ticket. Charge the phone. Listen to a few podcasts (already meditated), then I'm off.
Ah, so, quite a good day today.
Let's see how I get through such a long day tomorrow.
Date: Friday 25th January 2008
Below Mekong Cafe, Jinghong, CHINA. 8.07pm
Made it.
After leaving the Thai Internet place, I did indeed go to the only place I could see to eat in Chian Saen, '2 be 1'. It wasn't really good though. The salad had so much mayonnaise on it was inedible, and it was Thai style mayonnaise i.e. loaded with sugar, and then I had a plate of rice, which for some inexplicable reason, had pepper all over it.
I went home and was in the much nicer room. I got packed up and sat outside until I was tired. It was a full moon (I'd done the magic on the way home) so I sat outside. It was nice, with all the greens of the foliage turned shades of grey in the moonlight, it was so bright. But there's a karaoke place nearby and it didn't really do anything for the atmosphere.
I was actually really tired. I thought about phoning A. but decided I wasn't in the mood.
I woke up in good time and sat outside. Gin's dog came for a stroke. It was white, dirty and covered in open-wounds. As I made a fuss of it I noted how thick its neck was and I was glad it obviously didn't have any issues with foreigners. Then saw a vehicle draw up and went over to it. There were only two seats in the front so I asked if I could sit inside as it was a pick up. Ju-li said no, this is for a female. I was joined by a Dutch couple in their fifties (funnily enough, I just saw them here in this cafe a couple of minutes ago). Ju-li had decided that the female had to go in the front, so I was forced in the back. The guy sat down, but I couldn't crouch so stood up. We set off and then stopped at the top of the incline that led out, and rolled back down. This was really painful on my hip and I was getting scared. It turned out the guy had dropped his hat. We set off again and it was very fast, bumpy; I felt I should sit down to be safe but couldn't. The wind was really hurting my eyes but I had to keep them open to see the road ahead and any possible obstructions. Thankfully, it only lasted for a minute or so.
We got there and I was given a bag of food and the boat was down some slope. I walked down and had to go over another boat with cargo everywhere. I managed to walk to the end so that there was something there to pull myself up on. I did this and then managed to get on the boat.
I walked right to the front of the boat and sat down. It was dim but seemed bearable. The people on board were a mixture of Han Chinese and ethnic people. There was only myself and the Dutch couple as foreigners (to the region at least).
It turned out that I was sitting where the bags went, and so I was moved to be opposite two very Chinese looking guys with bad teeth, and a Chinese teenage girl to my right. I was in the aisle, so that made me happy at least.
We set off. I put on my 'mini-podcast-retreat' and meditated. This went on for three and a half hours. At the end of it, I wanted the toilet, and I noticed that people were disappearing out the back of the boat and I wanted to know what was going on. I went in the toilet and it was clean and pleasant. Then I walked out the back. The boat itself was about thirty feet. It was really swaying, not from current, but from making sharp turns at speed. Out the back I realised that the river was quite narrow. Not rapids, but there were indeed rocks with water splashing over them so it had that kind of appearance. There was a small deck and most people had life jackets on. It was really cold and windy and was moving a lot, but I braved it over to a bench and held on.
Chinese tourists were taking photos of everything. The boat lurched right and a man nearly rolled off but was caught by a uniformed attendant. Both seemed really scared for a moment, but then laughed. A Chinese woman who was part of a group came and sat with me and I realised her companions wanted to take a picture of her, so I turned around politely, to look away. The uniformed member came over and explained that they wanted me in the picture also, so I smiled while five or six people with slr's took pictures of us.
That ended and I just watched the passing scenery. The water was a light brown colour and the banks either side changed, from pebbly, to grass (rarely) to huge rocks twenty meters long to sand banks at the bottom of cliffs. Very interesting. The Chinese group came back and wanted the same picture, but with miming the matriarch in charge explained that they wanted the picture with me with my arm around her. So I obliged at they took pictures of us from various angles for about a minute. It was actually funny. She didn't put her arm around me though, it was just a one-way affair.
I went back in and looked at the food. Ju-li had put in a tuna sandwich, which I couldn't eat, and an egg noodles, which I could. The attendant of the boat had also given me a bag of milky liquid, which I declined, and a bag of fried dough, which I ate (very Chinese and quite good).
So I listened to more podcasts. The woman who's arm I'd had around (what?), you know what I mean, kept turning round and smiling at me. I read some pulp fiction.
After about another four hours, I went up again. It was sunny by now and warm, and standing just by the door I was able to loop my arm around the banister. This made me feel safer, and also, there was a lot of heat coming off the open diesel engine. I was there and quite enjoying myself for about forty minutes, and then the guy said we were getting close, so I went and sat down.
It was about another half hour, but then some people started getting off. A passenger opposite me said in English that we weren't going onto Jinghong, we were staying at the border because it was too late. I said, OK, but just decided he was an idiot who likes to make facetious jokes.
But then the captain came and started speaking to me in Chinese, and the same guy translated. It was indeed the case that we were too late, having spent an hour refueling, and so would have to stay the night, but the boat company would provide free accommodation. I explained that I'd booked accommodation, and it turned out that he knew Sara, and so called her for me. I said I had no money to buy anything but he said that I wouldn't need any.
So we all got off. Again, I had to scramble over a cargo boat and had real trouble with my hip and couldn't get on my feet at one point. A Chinese policeman helped me to my feet. He absolutely insisted on carrying my bag, and we went up an awful lot of stairs, level after level. The Chinese before me kept looking back confused as to why a policeman was helping me. I felt really guilty. When we got to immigration, he left me and I thanked him profusely, and gave a full bow and he seemed pleasantly surprised (though that must be an odd sight to them).
I went up to immigration. The English speaker put me in the right queue. I went up to the officer, worried by lack of passport space. When it was my turn she chirped 'Good Afternoon sir', and beamed a warm smile at me. She found my visa, stamped me right in, and that was it!
I went out and found the English speaker chatting to the Dutch couple, so I joined them. Then we were led off. We all walked, about twenty of us, through the streets full of bemused looking locals. I asked about changing money but there was not even a bank there. The Dutch couple were joined by a Chinese woman who talked to them; she was living in Portugal. We arrived at a hotel. My stomach started bubbling and I realised that I was ill (though that had been building for a few hours come to think of it). They gave me a room key and went upstairs and half made it in time to the toilet (don't ask; I won't elaborate). I got washing powder and laundered my clothes, then changed. I looked at my rations. Four pieces of bread, three slices of cheese, half of a half litre bottle of water. Not good. I went downstairs and asked the owner about changing money. He didn't understand. He make a call and a guy came who went out in the street and shouted until the English speaker came (yes, the same one, I only met one that day). He said I can change money, so he spoke to the owner who made another call. A guy came on a bike and I changed 260 baht for about forty or fifty or something. The English speaker explained that it was a whore-town, but there's a shop 'like seven eleven'. I went and found it, though I don't know if that was it. I ended up with two litres of water. Two packs of crisps in a gold packet. A noodles.
I went home and asked for hot water and the owner pointed to a water-cooler. I tried to explain it needed to be boiling, so he demonstrated that it was indeed boiling. I went up and ate, then meditated. Sitting there I wasn't sure it there was a time difference. It kept niggling me as we had to be at the shore at eight. I went down and indeed it was an hour ahead. I went back up, and slept. Soundly.
Next day I was up on time. I had a coke, and went down. I gave the guy the key and started walking. But then got worried as I saw some people getting on a bus, so I went back to the hotel in case the plan had changed. The woman who I'd been pictured with, and her group, walked out, so I just followed them. We went back down to the boat. It was cold, grey and misty. I had to climb over the boat but made it OK. We all got back on. We sat in the same seats and the English speaker said hello and asked if I am a Buddhist (as usual, I was wearing mala beads).
We went for about two hours. I looked at the guys opposite me. Their teeth made me resolve to find out about dentistry and go and see one for the first time in fifteen years.
We arrived and got off the boat. Some police checked my passport and the English speaker pointed out the bus. I walked up a load of stairs and got on. It was full but bearable. We went for about an hour. The scenery was tropical and the sun came out. We arrived. I noticed the man next to me had dropped a cigarette on the new seat and it had burnt a hole right though. I pointed it out to him. We got off and the English speaker came and explained how to get to Forest cafe. I thanked him and started walking.
It took about twenty minutes and I was there. There was a local woman at the computer who spoke perfect English but was snooty and standoffish. The cook was friendly. Sara wasn't there but they phoned her, and the snooty one wrote down instructions for the staff at Golden Elephant. She went, and the cook wrote down the name and explained where the bank was. I walked and got money, then got a cab. The cab took be back to the bank, so I went back to forest. The snooty one was back and put me in a taxi. I got there and showed the receptionist the Chinese writing. She seemed really confused, so made a call and an English speaking manager came down. He was really friendly and we got it all sorted out. I made tea and then went for a walk. I started getting extreme pain by then, hip as usual, but I was hungry. I walked to a supermarket. I got shopping but wanted tea bags. I asked an attendant, who called a friend over, who called a friend over, who called a friend over. This went on until there was most of the staff standing around me. The manager came and didn't understand English, but I mimed a cup of tea and then was shown it, but there was no black tea.
I went onto Bana cafe and ate, very nice, then was in a lot of pain and only just made it home. The receptionist (a different one) noticed my painful limp, pointed it out to the security guard, and they both laughed. I listened to Gill Fronsdal all night and slept.
I woke up and got ready. I realised that the windows are tinted blue, which is strange as the light temperature is so cool; if you're going to tint windows, why not orange?
Anyway, I didn't get out until twelve. I went to Bana and ate again, then had a terrible headache. I went to the supermarket, shopped, then went home and slept.
Woke up, went looking for a nice cybercafe (a recommended one) but couldn't find it, so came back here to the cafe under Mekong. Then I sat here and typed up all this.
Dream Friday 25th January 2008
I was in Zest restaurant, Chiang Mai, receiving free videotapes of psychic readings all by different psychics. The readings were all about Joanne, the woman I was with before I met Junko.
Then Joanne unexpectedly turned up and we had a drink together. We just talked generally and then she went. After she'd gone it occurred to me that I should have opened up about how much I was in love with Junko and how much it all affected me even after all this time.
Then she went and I played the psychic videos. The first psychic tuned into the 'target' and said that she's always touching her hair and that everyone wonders why she isn't married yet. The second psychics came on and was standing before an Indian elephant. She was about to start but I turned it off as I realised that I can play the following readings one by one over time rather than all at the same time as it's a lot to take in in one go [I wrote 'take off' accidentally when writing the dream down].
Then it occurred to me that the readings could be about Junko, not Joanne, as Joanne isn't particularly significant to me.
Then I went to a shop and gave a receipt for some soda bottles I'd earlier had bought. I did some more shopping and got some more bottles, and checked with the guy that it would be OK to brink them back. He said that there isn't a deposit. I reminded him that I just got a deposit on a receipt rather than the bottles and he agreed that yes, I would get a deposit refund on the receipt.
Interpretation
This is quite obviously about my vague plan, to put my new projects and study into effect over the year, and then actually go to Japan. I wouldn't like to speculate what the readings mean. What happened is there and you can work it out for yourself, or come up with your own opinion.
Obviously, if I have that vague plan, then it's saying I'll be allowed to know more as time goes on. I hope so, as I'm open to doing what is best, including letting go. It's just hard, I mean, for something so important to me to fade out.
Dream Saturday 26th January 2008
I was watching some program about two men who were researching about how some railway track got laid. It wasn't TB, I was actually there watching the program being made. ON this particular program it was about a specific six mile stretch that went through the countryside. They knelt down and had special tools to follow the track and said that the history of how it was laid and the people who laid it was particularly interesting.
Then I was trying to phone A but couldn't get through. I was also, somehow through the phone, trying to download an audiobook. I could just about hear A's voice, saying that as far as she was concerned she'd paid for it -- though I think the book was actually nothing to do with her.
Then I was in Northampton bus station in a long queue of an overdue bus that seemed to be out of service. Someone phoned up to complain, but as they were put through, all the people started getting on as it was ready to go.
Interpretation
This is about the new plans and projects, i.e. me becoming more focused that I've been for years. Six miles of track means I've worked out that I have enough money for six years clear, possibly longer depending on the stock market. It's particularly interesting how I got to be in this, auspicious? situation (beggar).
A thinks that she has a lot more influence than she has. I think anything that's positive about me comes from my lifelong spiritual practice and study and application of psychology.
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